A man in West Bromwich intends to spend the next two months impersonating David Cameron as part of a last ditch attempt to avoid Game of Throne spoilers.
“I like to binge watch the show and I got sick of numpties ruining the surprise. I vowed that that wouldn't happen this year. But how? Who could possibly live a life so removed from the day to day concerns of ninety per cent of the population, that most watched show in television history wouldn't even be on their radar. Then I realised, David Cameron! It was obvious. I mean, I've seen his Twitter; no one mentions anything about pop culture at all, they just call him spoon face over and over again, like a ritualistically warding off of evil”.
“I had reservations at first; I don’t know much about keeping the interest rate from dipping below inflation, but weirdly it doesn't seem to matter. If someone asks me a question I just say ‘a fair deal for honest, hard-working Britons’ or ‘I have complete faith in Mr Osbourne’ and they seem satisfied with that”.
But how does a person prepare for becoming a slightly more life-like version of the PM?
“Well the thing I found the most useful was to pretend that me and the person I’m speaking to are sat at a restaurant and I’m just about to run off without paying my half of the bill, but I don’t want them suspect anything”.
Those who know Mr Atherton say the results are uncanny.
“I know its Steve, but every time I see him I get this uncontrollable urge to shout ‘cock wobbler’ at him. I’m not even sure what a cock wobbler is; it just feels right”.
“I thought it was a bit weird, seeing the prime minister in the ready meal section of Iceland, but then I thought it might be one of his attempts to convince us he’s a normal person by eating a triple meat feast pizza wrapped round a garlic bread”.
This is not the first time a political figure has helped to prevent engagement with the outside world. In 2008, hospital porter Sean Bentham successfully avoided UEFA champions League results after being knocked unconscious following an unfortunately realistic impersonation of Nick Clegg begging for a pack of peanuts.