As disturbing details continue to emerge after the UK's catastrophic crash into a huge mountain of debt, more and more questions are being asked about the man who assumed control of the country at the time of the disaster.
The UK Government are still refusing to release full details of the man responsible, referring to him only as "The Chancellor". However, based on expert analysis of his actions, it is now widely believed that he had been suffering from a severe mental illness for several years, and that this may have been a significant contributing factor in his decision to force the UK into a suicidal plunge, taking the country's entire population of screaming citizens with him.
How can a man with a severe mental illness be given such an important job?
The system of selecting The Chancellor is one which contains significant checks and safeguards to ensure that a complete lunatic with a financial death-wish is kept away from the job. Under the current system, for example, it is impossible for anyone to become a Chancellor unless they have a selection of rich friends and have the ability to say, "Please vote for me" and walk around carrying a red box.
Although this system sounds totally foolproof, things can still go wrong with it,and so the country always ensures that it has a backup system, which is known in political circles as "The Cabinet", with a person called "The Prime Minister" supervising this system.
However, even with such safeguards in place, it is still possible for things to go wrong. Industry safety experts have today released a report suggesting that this is partly due to "the unpredicatble and volatile nature of a variety of social, economic and financial factors", and partly due to both The Cabinet and The Prime Minster being "a bunch of good-for-nothing, toffee-nosed c**ts."