In his first interview since his recent regeneration, Dr Who has complained of encountering incipient ageism. “When I came round from regeneration to find I was in my twenties again I was made up, I mean what man wouldn’t be? I stopped forgetting where I’d left the keys to the TARDIS, frequent trips to the loo became a thing of the past, and I was much less puffed out from running around behind my young assistants. Plus, I still had the wisdom and knowledge accumulated over a 900 year life span.” He was soon brought down to earth however the first time he had to utter the immortal lines “I’m the Doctor”.
Speaking frankly, Dr Who revealed “The first thing that people said was ‘Oh, aren’t you a bit young dear? I wanted to see a proper doctor, not a Junior. I mean, no disrespect, but I reckon this is a Darlek infestation and I don’t want you fobbing me off with something for Slitheen just because you’ve been up on the wards for 72 hours straight'. Last week I rushed into the UN security council and told them how to deal with a comet that was about to hit the Earth, but the secretary general just told me 'That's very interesting son, you should leave home and get a job while you still know everything'".
The Doctor also told of how his age was an issue with young people. “I’d turn up looking mid 20’s dressed in a corduroy jacket or frock coat, and all the local ‘yoots’ would start up with ‘Oi, Grandad, still got ya phonebox? Ya wanna get a mobile, innit?’”
Dr who may yet have the last laugh at his detractors. “The next time the Cyber men turn up I might just pretend I was too busy on Facebook or too deaf to hear the noise.”