Starmer joins hand over of the sausages
Months on from his infamous speech, Sir Keir is adamant that he did not misspeak and that Oct 7th was all about bangers- and not the bomb kind. While Hamas have agreed to release Israeli hostages, Starmer is insistent that the sausages be released first. A spokeswoman for No.10 said: 'Sir Keir has been clear from the start. No sausages. No deal. And yes, he would like some chips with it.' 'It is inconceivable to suggest he said sausages by accident, because he was cynically e
Tories set out their new pollicies
The Tories got a lot of media attention for their misspelled chocolate bars with 'Britian' written on them at last week's party conference.. Keen to cappitalize on this, and to secure more meeja attention, the Tories are publicising their misdirected policies with misspelled press releases. The top pollicies are: Abbolishing stamp duty on houses, to help the ritch Stopping asilum seakers Abbolishing the sentencing council, and the spelling counsel Leaving CHER Raising standar
Donald Trump wins Nobel Participation Prize
The Nobel Foundation, based in Sweden, today announced that Donald Trump has been awarded a special Nobel Participation Award in...
Bankrupt Tory Party disbands and Reforms without anyone noticing
Hard working Conservative MP for Rottenshire and Stour, Fenton Axewound, has redoubled his efforts to not bother hiding it. Speaking...
All Nobel Peace Prizes are ironic
The award will now go to anyone who has genocidal intent, a secret lair and is being operated by the CIA like a meat puppet. If anything...
Trump’s Peace deal cedes new state for Palestine near West Bromwich
In a little known clause within the peace deal brokered by the US President Donald Trump, Palestinians have been given the right to...
High Conservative levels damage communities, nation warned
The government must do more to promote integration and look away from problems caused by Conservative rhetoric out of a fear of the...
Reform breaks silence over Nathan Gill
After two weeks since UKIP MEP, Brexit Party MEP and the former Reform Ltd Welsh Leader was convicted of working for the Russians, taking...
Protestor with ‘papulation receptionists’ banner arrested by the Anagram Police
An elite squad of cryptic crossword solvers has been recruited to police Britain’s growing menace: vicars and retired accountants...
Police to be given powers to make up emergency laws on the fly
The UK Government have confirmed that Police are to be given new powers to make up emergency laws on fly should situations require them....
