In another shock revelation from his new book, "The Third Man", Lord Mandelson openly revealed that he was the man who ran over DCI Sam Tyler, and shot DI Alex Drake, in the popular BBC series' Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes.
Lord Mandelson wrote in the book "I got a bit bored one day of screwing about with politics and generally looking creepy, so I thought I'd go out for a whirl in the old car. But then some copper walked in front of me. It was a complete accident. Sort of." Sam Tyler was the lead character in the BBC's popular series Life on Mars, and was ran over, causing him to wake up in 1973. Lord Mandelson went on to say "I was down by the docks, having a go at my favourite game- target practice in a shipping container- when another cop just ran in front of my path of fire." Alex Drake appeared in Life on Mars' spin off series, Ashes to Ashes, and was shot through the head before waking up in 1981.
David Cameron, leader of the Conservative party, said today "This is just another example of how unreliable Labour are. Not only has Lord Mandelson nearly killed both of these officers and plunging them into a dream world of mysterious metaphors and eighties stereotypes, he also seems to have the remarkable ability to slip into the world of fiction. Before long, Mandelson could be running in and out of fiction, dispatching all sorts of popular characters. I suggest we quickly transfer him to my party. He would be very... valuable to us."
Lord Mandelson was un-available for comment about his antics, but further research shows that not only did Lord Mandelson shoot JR in Dallas, but he also tried to kill Harry Potter in numerous failed occasions throughout the seven books, caused Dr Who to regenearte by whacking him with a sizeable chunk of wood and blew up Tracey Island.