President Obama made a special presentation to Tony Hayward, the introverted but some would say out-going Chief Executive of BP at a special ceremony in the Oval Office this morning.
During the proceedings the President thanked Mr Hayward for being a stalwart and unceasing distraction from the economic problems of his country and a man that the US could count on when looking for a benchmark against which others could readily judge their tact and wit.
The life, said to contain some pleasing if unremarkable family elements and a nice pen had been held in storage by the President throughout the recent oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico.
In thanking the President Mr Hayward remarked that he had missed the life and was particularly looking forward to his enormous salary and car.
His wife and family were not able to remain for the remainder of his speech but when interviewed were said to be pleased to have been released from the White House cupboard that had been their home for the previous three months.