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Rare Literary Find in America


(30 posts) (17 voices)
  • Started 2 years ago by rikkor
  • Latest reply from rikkor
Current rating::

Tags:

  • at least - he thought he was
  • at least plucky was funny
  • Bum's dogs
  • cover my ass
  • Dickhead's made another useful contribution
  • Did the dog do it?
  • don't read it
  • He used to be funnier
  • He used to be more vulnerable
  • her ass hurts
  • hope they don't find any more pages
  • i liked it
  • it was the best of times
  • it was the worst of times
  • it's crap
  • No rush for the next one
  • Oscar (Wilde) buzz...
  • Rikkor sub - blimey
  • sub lime
  • sub Limey
  • the hardest part of the 1000 mile journey is the first
  • thousand miles
  • try newsarse mate
  • which end of the dog's it from?
  • You left out the funny
  1. rikkor

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    A Boston rare book seller has discovered two lost pages of the diary of Emily Dickinson (1830-1886), America’s virginal, reclusive poet. The leaves were folded inside a tattered copy of the 19th-century potboiler “Awful Disclosures of Maria Monk.” The diary pages provide both literary scholars and the average reader a tantalizing glimpse into the mind of the writer famed for her quiet, retired existence. The stained pages (tear-stained for an unrequited passion?) have proved to be in Dickinson’s hand. Although several words are obscured, they provide a rare glimpse into the quiet, reserved life of the poet.

    Sunday, March 16, 1850

    Today is the twentieth anniversary of my matriculation from Mount Holyoke Female Seminary. Oh, the sweet memories of carefree girlhood days! Celebrated the sacred anniversary of this signal event by (word obscured, “masquerading”?) in my room all afternoon. Dead to the world by supper.

    (Editors note: the Dickinsons were rather worldly for New England Puritans. “Masquerading” may refer to a home-grown Mardi Gras celebration.)

    Monday, March 17, 1850

    I am so cross with Annie! Fairly wore her out when she returned home late with my blessed laudanum and bracing brandy. Drank paint thinner to tide me over. Fear that Annie’s attention to the Hibernian fete may have obscured her duty to her mistress. Wrote a little when I settled down.

    (Ed: the writing here is particularly shaky. Was this minor household problem what was really bothering Emily? Annie was the Dickinson’s Irish maid, Annie O’Flaherty. Laudanum was often used to soothe “female complaints” at this time. Even teetotalers like the Dickinsons would have kept brandy for making fruitcake at Christmas. Perhaps a local shortage made it necessary to secure the brandy in March. “Paint thinner” may have been an amusing family usage for barley water or lemonade.)

    Shrove Tuesday, March 18, 1850

    The Reverend Israel Beecher Lyman (itinerant Unitarian preacher, 1814-1880) had tea downstairs with father today. He came to see me quite alone in my room, and boldly gave me six inches where I (word crossed-out, “sit”?). I’ve had better. Wrote two short poems, “Amherst Elegy” and “Izzy Lyman is a (words obscured, “Shifty Rover”?).

    (Ed: Lyman apparently gave Emily the thoughtful gift of at least two reams of writing paper for her poems. But, she seems to question the quality of the paper. The curious, punning “Amherst Elegy” survives in her collected works. “Elegy” is cleverly paired with “leg”, l-e-g. “Izzy Lyman is a Shifty Rover” has yet to be found.)

    Posted 2 years ago #
  2. andhrimnir

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    sublime.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  3. MrChigleysAunt

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    Ridiculous. Stars nevertheless.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  4. arrghgarry

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    Did she mean writing paper or get reamed?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. rikkor

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    Writing paper and reamed are kinda like an internal rhyme (rime?) or something like that. Maybe alliteration.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  6. The All New Jeni B

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    At last!
    An original work from Rikkor, and welcome it is too.

    I'm going to give you stars just because it's you!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  7. rikkor

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    You're sweet. Now that I've done one of these, who do I have to fcuk to fast-track this for immediate FP and Writer of Month?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  8. andhrimnir

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    nobody - it's a dead cert. In fact demands a new category of writer of the decade.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  9. arrghgarry

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    They said she had agoraphobia or was it a gorilla phobia or angora phobia

    Posted 2 years ago #
  10. rickwestwell

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    Fuck my old boots - the omens of the end of the world are indeed strong today.

    There's a NIB on the Front Page from Plucky Munky, the Golf Sale is finally ending in London, and Rikkor's written a sub. We'll all be dead by morning, it's a sure thing.

    Completely bonkers for a satirical news site, of course, but beyond charming, all the same.

    5 stars.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  11. StoopyDeGunt

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    He used to be less vulnerable

    Posted 2 years ago #
  12. Iscariot

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    Well done, Rikkor. You've finally popped your cherry. "Fortune befriends the bold."

    Have some stars.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  13. fernandomando

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    A great and original take on a perpetual theme- 5 stars

    Posted 2 years ago #
  14. Stan Laurel

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    Wow, high fives!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  15. StoopyDeGunt

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    Emily Dickinson? She was my favourite maverick lady cop

    Posted 2 years ago #
  16. rikkor

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    With all this love flowing over me, I feel like I should say something crappy about the voting system or sumfing. For those of you who are ephemera-lite, look up Maria Monk. One of my favo(u)rites. I have a copy of the ageless tome describing her trials in the basement of the Hotel Dieu in Montreal. Vy. scandalous.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  17. edward hack

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    you're ass shouldn't hurt quite so much now you've got rid of that

    Posted 2 years ago #
  18. Dickens or Shakespeare

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    The complete works of Rikkor in one sub.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  19. ramblesnake

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    Wasn't Emily Dickinson the insufferable woman who tried to run the Derby without a mount? They had to shoot her as she was frightening the horses.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  20. The All New Jeni B

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    I thought Emily Dickinson played Trillian in HHGTTG?
    She was married to Dr Who at one point.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  21. ramblesnake

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    If you mean the shrill voiced American actress with the platinum blond hair, I've never heard of her.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  22. The All New Jeni B

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    That's the one.
    I don't know her either.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  23. Griffin

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    You should not mention Trillian. It has set me going again.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  24. rikkor

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    R. Snake may be thinking of Emmeline "Seabiscuit" Pankhurst.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  25. rickwestwell

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    "Seabiscuit" - is that the website where old sailors go to yarn, write satirical news stories and moan about the boating system?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  26. sauce

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    Has anyone complained about the tags yet?

    (Stars, and dog biscuits)

    Posted 2 years ago #
  27. Doctor Moptop

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    I, for one, would like more articles of this ilk.

    For does not JO'F himself ask for horoscopes, articles, reviews, recipes (HINT), problem pages (DITTO) and not just news articles?

    For is not every newspaper stuffed with horoscopes, articles, reviews, recipes (BIG FAT HINT), problem pages (DITTO) and not just news articles?

    Please, Rikkor, do your very best to uncover diaries by Sylvia Plath ("I ran out of shillings for the meter today. Such a bore ..."), T.S. Eliot ("I allow myself three teaspoons of coffee per day, measuring them carefully and using my special cup ..."), Ted Hughes ("The wife says I'll be the death of 'er ...")

    Mine a meme!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  28. antharrison

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    Lovely

    Posted 2 years ago #
  29. Doctor Moptop

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    You're too kind, AntH. It was just a little something I knocked off ...

    Posted 2 years ago #
  30. rikkor

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    Moptop, MD. Good idea re: S. Plath. She's lucky that she offed herself before I got to her. What an insufferable bore. St. Ted Hughes is wot he wuz!

    Posted 2 years ago #

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