Ancient playtime activities hopscotch and tiddlywinks may soon result in clashes at a school in Jerusalem, warn American diplomats, sparking fears of more bloodshed in the Middle East.
The playground at Temple Mount Primary has long been reserved for hopscotch, with tiddlywinks restricted to a small area by the school gates. Although all children can access the playground, past attempts to play tiddlywinks there have quickly been quashed by patrolling dinner ladies. But with tiddlywinks zealots increasingly challenging the status quo, violence may become unavoidable.
Speaking anonymously, an aggrieved tiddlywinker complains: “The playground is immensely important for our game. We demand the right to play there.”
Such demands are rejected by hopscotchers: “They can’t play here!” insists one. “This is where WE play!”
Hopes for a settlement are dwindling. Suggestions by John Kerry, the American Secretary of State, that the children could play alongside one another have been derided by both sides as “ludicrous,” and “typical Western ignorance.”
In an alarming development, lurgees are reported to have fallen into the hands of Class 2B, an unruly and unpredictable group described by the head teacher as “Difficult children.” 2B do not play on the playground but are known to be friends of the hopscotchers. In the past they have launched asymmetric attacks on the tiddlywinkers, raising concerns that they will use chemical weapons. The impact of a lurgee outbreak would be devestating, and would draw both sides inexorably into a playground punch-up despite previous promises to leave each other alone.
Most ordinary hopscotchers have no interest in squabbling with the tiddlywinkers but, such is the importance of playtime to both groups, fears remain that children playing two different games in the same playground will end in tears.
