Prime Minister David Cameron has raised concerns over the quality of EU diseases and called on member states to follow the UK's lead with such "splendid" infections as whooping cough, chicken pox and scroffula.
Syphilis and the bubonic plague were singled out by the UK premier as "shoddy and mean spirited" as he announced that the UK government is considering withdrawing from cross-infection agreements, potentially leaving ailing Britons to suffer only from British-based afflictions.
Leader of UKIP, Nigel Farage, has declaimed the PM's stance as too little, too late. He has instead demanded the evolution of a new, all-British pandemic, under the proposed name "Albionola".
"In addition," he told Newsbiscuit, "have you noticed that auto-correct changes my name to Nicely Forage?! It doesn't have any bearing on the issue, admittedly, but may help you fill column inches and nip off for a boozey lunch if you're so inclined. I know I am!"
The European Commissioner for Bacterial and Viral Development, whose name temporarily eludes me, also commented on this issue.