Hot on the news that it has become the world’s biggest manufacturer of hand held computer devices US technology giant Apple has unveiled its latest gadget - the ‘HiPhone’, a telephone you can carry in your pocket.
Introducing the revolutionary new product Apple chief executive Steve Jobs, said that extensive research had revealed that most people who buy hand held deveices only want to use them to speak to their mum or send a text message to their mate down the road.
“I don’t want to see us descend into a nation of twiddlers,” Jobs said Tuesday. “Why spend hours playing with something you’ll never work out how to use before it gets stolen and re-sold on e-bay when you can just press a few buttons and say ‘hi’ straight in someone’s ear.”
The new ‘HiPhone’ has already proved a big hit with consumers.
“It’s absolutely brilliant,” gushed Maria Beddowski, a graphic designer who readily admits to already owning a shelf of Apple products she never uses. “I can just press few buttons and speak to someone in seconds, without having to faff around for ages making funny hand movements and trying not to take photographs of my knees.”
“Fabulous,” agreed unemployed gas fitter Martin Johnson. “I can even get a decent signal if I stick it where Sun Microsystems don’t shine, and it comes in a great range of glow in the dark colours that don’t match anything.”
Responding to criticism that at $499 the new HiPhone is priced far higher than rival hand held products, Jobs had some advice for Apple’ competitors
“Innovation distinguishes leaders from followers,” he said. “If our competitors had wanted to invent the ‘HiPhone’ they should have spent less time copying us and cramming in ever more pointless and unusable functions into a device whose primary function is just to allow users to say ‘hi’!”.