Authorities are increasingly worried for the safety of 29-year-old celebrity Anne Boleyn after an appearance with her husband of three years Henry Tudor on the new series of 'All-Star Mr & Mrs' ended in chaos yesterday afternoon. Producer Rowena Cooper blamed the farcical scenes on researchers who had failed to exclude Tudor’s obsessive first wife from the studio audience.
“We’d barely introduced them when a middle-aged Spanish woman rushed out onto the set, flung herself at his knees and started babbling about how she was a poor foreign woman who had been a true and faithful wife to him for 20 years and had come to his bed a maid,” said Cooper. "The studio audience just loved that."
The woman, reportedly named Katherine, was eventually escorted away to a nunnery but the audience began to call Anne ‘strumpet’ and ‘whore’. After a few summary floggings, calm was restored but things soon went awry again when the couple was challenged to answer some simple questions about their relationship.
“When we asked ‘Who wears the trousers in your palace?’ they just looked confused,” Cooper said. “Then, when she claimed to have a better grasp of theology than him, he burst into a rage and stormed off, bellowing that Mistress Seymour would not beard him so. I hope the show doesn't get axed because of this."
Anne has not been seen in public since being hustled from the studios by four Yeomen of the Guard. Police are also uncertain about the fate of five handsome young men from her entourage. Acting on a tip-off, they are believed to have raided addresses around Tower Green late last night.
Some observers have accused the producers of negligence, given Henry Tudor's recent track record. It is only one month since he appeared on the Jeremy Kyle show in an episode entitled 'She couldn't give me a son, why shouldn't I have her executed?'.