Management from the former state-owned delivery company Parcelforce have said they are 'trying, but failing' to deliver election promises on time -- but they say that the blame lies with central government.
'We know we've got a bit of a poor reputation, and occasionally our nickname of Parcelfarce is well justified, but this time it's really not our fault,' said Clive Tinsham, logistics manager at Parcelforce's Coventry hub.
'We've had real problems getting all these promises to fit through some people's letter boxes,' Clive said, 'but we've had the cunning idea of holding a lot of them back in the depot in anticipation of government promises just disappearing, in a similar way to some of our parcel deliveries.'
The company says they have also had difficulty arranging delivery of quite a few of the promises as they have struggled to find something to transport them in. 'We've had to subcontract a lot of the work to gas supplier BOC,' said delivery analyst Susie James, 'as lot of these promises are mostly just hot air.'
According to Parcelforce statistics, government departments are also constantly cancelling deliveries. 'A recent biggie was the recall of their 'frontline services' promise after they axed 10,000 NHS jobs,' explained Susie. 'We'd already started drops of that one and had to go round collecting them back in, apologising to customers.'
'Some people were really unwilling to hand their promises back, so we had to break in and snatch them,' she said. 'We'd never have got away with it if the lads weren't so experienced in stealing post!'