Maria Van Buren, a court artist since the late 1980s has been fired from her post following a string of smudgy, indistinct paintings which 'fail to accurately capture the atmosphere and events at Lincoln Crown Court'.
In a passionate outburst Ms Van Buren, 57, has defended her right to explore new creative avenues. "Nobody said anything when I started putting little Munch scream-heads into the jury box, or even the year when I decided to blur the accuseds' faces in my fauvist-pointillist style."
Johnathan Wilder, a spokesman for the Crown Court Service said: "It is with great regret that we have had to lose the services of Maria Van Buren, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that her shouts of 'hold it! don't move' were interrupting the business of the court. We have concluded that, however delightful her work may be on its own merit, it fails to live up to the exacting standards required by a British Crown Court. Plus it looks like a five-year-old has done it."
The Home Office has issued a statement saying it is considering installing automatic daguerrotypes in courtrooms, prompting outrage from the community of cortroom artists who see this new technology as a threat to their way of life.