The government has announced that a new high-speed rail siding will 'bring Britain's railways back to the 19th century'. The new sidings, which may be nearly a kilometre long, will allow high speed trains to be parked up in the Chilterns, in all their gleaming glory.
The multi-billion pound short stretch of track will connect Britain's existing rail network to a couple of insignificant fields, from which passengers will be able to observe stationary traffic on the M40, and marvel as planes fly over their heads.
The transport secretary assured voters that upgrades to connect to actual stations could be as little as a century away.
