As panic-stricken people ran from newsagent to newsagent, it appeared that the relentless surge of Ebola stories would spread through entire editions of the Times, Telegraph and the Guardian, before going on to infect the celebrity gossip magazines, Loaded and even the latest edition of the Angling Times on the end of the shelf next to that old copy of Investor's Chronicle from three months ago.
But Ebola stories appear to have peaked last week as the epidemic failed to reach past the Letters page in the Daily Express, while news of this dreadfully lethal tropical virus was halted on Friday before it reached the amazing holiday offers in the Daily Express next to the adverts for Television X and Babestation.
"This latest medical panic appears to be now in decline", said a Government spokesman in charge of media epidemics and Parliamentary cover-ups, "and with only weeks to go before kids return to school and the start of the football season, parents will be relieved to see our finest newspapers returning to traditional topics of unseasonably bad weather, sex-change boxing promoters and celebrity breast implants gone wrong. Which is a shame. For me, personally"