“Bare boys are ok though” said the daredevil tv star, who also confessed to Holly Willoughby on ‘This Morning’ his favourite show is ‘Scouting for Boys’, closely followed by ‘I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here’ and revealed it is he who cuts the kangaroo testicles off.
“It’s just something I like doing, especially when they are still alive” said the star, adding “a lot of people haven’t got the balls to do it. I also like stabbing old ladies in the eyes then watching them run around disorientated. My hero has got to be Danny Rolling, definitely.”
“My main passion is to ban bare girls and hetero porn on the internet. In my experience, it’s just not natural for teenage boys to have erections over nude women and wank off. That’s why I have introduced my new programme for penis enlargement for pre-pubescent boys whereby penises can be lengthened to about 24 inches then tied into a granny knot.”
“Absolutely fascinating” said Holly “I’d love to see that and hear more, but we have got to go to a commercial break right now.”
“Next up: the masturbating macaque who is making a monkey out of copyright laws. Don’t go away, stay with us, believe in better pointless banter.”