I'm almost tempted to see what happens on the Schrodinger's sub idea, we won't know if it is alive or dead until the Ed puts it out there... but here goes:
The European Space Agency (ESA) have revealed ambitious plans to celebrate their successful comet stalk with a dazzling display of performance art. Initially it is hoped that Rosetta will land a small probe this week, capable of sketching a cartoon cock on the surface 'as a statement as to the impermanence of life, art and snowballs in hell.'
Having copped a quick feel of the amusingly-shaped comet, and tested which way the cosmic wind is blowing, Rosetta will then unleash a cluster of mini-bots. The radio-controlled diggers, scrapers and fluffers will sculpt comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko to reveal it's inner cock and balls.
Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko in its raw state, prior to a good French polishing
ESA engineers from across Europe are said to be cock-a-hoop at the success of the mission so far, with ample opportunity trot out their 'wurst' jokes over the coming weeks, tormenting their competitors in Russia.
British scientish Dr Brendan Pith enthused, 'This will be the first 3-dimensional art installation of a complete knob in space, before Richard Branson gets there.'
For years to come, amateur astronomers and other virgins will be gazing upon 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko in eager anticipation of the spray of ejecta when it finally approaches the sun.
Pith added, 'Naturally we will be putting out an alternate story for young children that the sculpture is of a baby ninja turtle, until they are old enough to know that it was in fact modelled on Max Clifford's penis. Justin.'