In the world of oneupmanship, nothing is as ostentatious as having a celebrity burglar alarm.
Not only does it indicate you have property worth
stealing protecting, it also shows everybody passing your home that you have the money to pay for a famous person to stand outside your home 24 hours a day.
The top seller according to Alarms R Us is the Mr. T, a franchise from the United States that employs out of work bodybuilders, draped in yards of gold chains, to tell passers-by that they 'pity the fool who tries to break in here'.
If that's too much for rural Oxfordshire, then there's the Bob Harris, an unassuming alarm that sneaks up on would-be burglars and then whispers dark threats in their ear, before ending his message with the words 'great stuff there from Hawkwind'.
Another alarm that's leading the market is the Ahmedinejhad, featuring a neatly trimmed middle-aged Iranian man, who carries a hidden nuclear device and threatens to set it off while protesting that he doesn't actually have one.
The most expensive and most prestigious is the Stalin. This model, which some say is obsolete, not only quietly removes the burglar, but also removes their entire family and has them disposed of.