Doffs cap to Sydalg
Sherlock Holmes paints door yellow - it's a lemon entry my dear Watson
(27 posts) (16 voices)
and I thought my pun was bad.... 5 stars, naturally
Joke is at least 30 years old
I think it was in "Murder by Death" where there was a scene of Watson puzzling over a crossword and Holmes (John Cleese?) kept saying "Elementary my dear Watson" which turned out to be every answer.
Examples I remember were something like:
'3 across; Cowardly flat fish?'
"Elementary my dear Watson"
'Ah well done Holmes, Yellow manta ray'
'6 down; Citus coloured conservative?'
"Elementary my dear Watson".
'Excellent Holmes, A lemon tory.'
well played sir, well played
Sherlock asked if the singer Fitzgerald spoke of him - Ella mention me? my dear Watson.
Sherlock then had sex with Watson.
good job he wasn't involved with spectrostropic anaysis - element ray.
holmes and watson were watching a local rugby match. at one stage a member of the home team captured the ball and made off towards the opposing goal. he was intercepted but not before he had passed the ball sucessfully to another of his team. this was repeated until the ball was sucessfully touched down, with the ball havng been successively passed between all but four members of the home team.
"what a superb piece of playing!" said watson. "how would you describe that, holmes?"
"eleven man try, my dear watson" replied holmes.
Adrian: When the kids were younger and we visited the local big garden center I couldn't resist saying it in the citrus tree dept. I can feel my girls cringing even now.
Anyone who says we have to get out more should come and read this thread. In your face those with a life.
It's been a bloody quiet day in the shop!
Sherlock then had sex with Watson.
Surely you're not suggesting ...
"Anal entry, my dear Watson?"
"Ooh, rather, my dear Sherly!"
"Who the devil is that frightful looking chap guarding the entrance to the mosque, Holmes?"
"Allah's sentry, my dear Watson."
"Why is Mr Merrick's head so awfully large, Holmes?"
"Elephantory, my dear Watson."
"Why do you consider the Florida Everglades so perilous, Holmes?"
"Alligatory, my dear Watson."
Holmes enters the 'fracking' controversy
"Sedimentary" my dear Watson.
Sorry to be the pub bore, but as a matter of fact, in none of the Sherlock Holmes stories does Sherlock ever actually utter the words "Play it again Sam".
Can I just add something from a Russ Abbott sketch - slightly off topic.
Watson: "That's ideal,Holmes"
Holmes: "Really Watson, don't make an exhibition of yourself!"
Every week in year 3 I was set the challenge of coming up with another joke ending with a variation on the phrase 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame'.
This had to be thought up in afternoon registration then whispered along the line of desks (desks in lines in those days), during the history lesson, highly perilous as making any noise whatosever was next to lethal with that particular teacher.
We had (naturally) The Lunchpack of Notre Dame, The Punchbag of Notre Dame, and some more obscure ones like 'The crunched Jag of Notre Dame'. etc.
sorry to be the pub bore, but as a matter of fact, in none of the sherlock holmes stories does sherlock ever actually utter the words "play it again sam".
post of the week! thanks you - megastars for that.
"Who the dickens are those rubber-booted toffs, Holmes?"
"Welly gentry, my dear Watson."
"Is that dreadful odour wafting from your flatulent bowels, Holmes?"
"Smelly ventory, my dear Watson."
"One of those newfangled whirlybirds has crashed in Highgate Wood, Holmes."
"Heli bent tree, my dear Watson."
'Tell me about the digestive tract Holmes'
'Alimentary my dear Watson'
"Holmes, you're saying that, for cheap thrills, that depraved villain shoved a mayonnaise jar up his arse?"
"Hellmann entry, my dear Watson".
"Dash and blast," said Holmes. "I want a gin and tonic, but we have no citrus fruits. I say, Watson, could you pop down to Asda for me?"
Watson removed his iPod's ear-piece. "Sorry, Holmes, I was listening to 'Queens of The Stone Age.' Didn't catch what you said."
"It's a lemon entreaty, my dear Watson."
"You're on This Is Your Life in a minute, Holmes, what are you waiting for?"
"Eamonn's entry, my dear Watson".
"I say, Holmes!" Watson exclaimed, "what on earth is that vacuum cleaner made of unglazed earthenware supposed to be?"
"It's a terra-cotta hoover, my dear Watson."
I think you've misunderstood, Yanhuo. This is a thread about Shylock's Loans.
Get genuine replica loans here. Good rates. Send $600 immediately.Posted 4 months ago #
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