Fears new banking regulations could force rate-fixers and mis-sellers overseas
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As the government introduces tough new measures to combat criminal bankers, it is feared Canary Wharf and the City of London could become ghost towns within 6 months, as dodgy dealers take their ‘talents’ elsewhere.
Canary Wharf contains many of the UK's tallest buildings, including the second-tallest, One Canada Square, and speculation is rife as to what to do with all of this empty prime real estate.
One plan involves converting the buildings into affordable housing/business units and helicoptering in the cream of British ‘green shoot’ talent, who would otherwise be unable to afford to live there, identified by a specialist think tank task force.
Mrs Ada Bailey, 89, who was brought up on the Isle of Dogs has other ideas: “They should flatten Canary Wharf and take it back to how it used to be with slum housing and a traditional East End pub on every corner.” Mrs Bailey, who now lives in an old folks home, although she is quite alert, then joined in with a good old sing-song “It’s a long way to Tipperary, it’s a long way to go….Goodbye Piccadilly, farewell Leicester Square…”
David Cameron was so taken by Mrs Bailey, Canary Wharf and the City of London are set to be demolished next week, over Boris Johnson’s dead body, who he has ordered the SAS to assassinate.
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