In a groundbreaking deal, Israel and arch-rivals Hamas have agreed to a power-sharing deal which will see them jointly running the Moral Lowground - an area traditionally seen as sacred to both sides.
The Moral Lowground was once governed entirely by the British Empire though the Office of Dubious Geopolitical Claims. The territory has since been fought over by various groups, keen to exploit its fertile pastures ideal for cultivating seething resentment and racial suspicion.
The Israelis have for years claimed the Moral Lowground to be their 'spiritual home'. However, Palestinians have been enraged at Israel's attempts to keep the Moral Lowground entirely to themselves by building permanent settlements on it and an enormous wall around it. Israel has fiercely opposed Palestinian militants' incursions on the Moral Lowground with rockets and suicide bombers, which the Israelis saw as a blatant attempt to 'drive them into the realm of people's sympathies.'
However, today, in a deal brokered by ISIS, the two former enemies finally agreed to share the territory between them.
‘This is an historic moment for the Middle East' said a spokesperson for the Israeli government at a joint press conference with Hamas leaders. 'For decades we have been constantly trying to outdo each other in terms of backward religious edicts, pointless circular politics and the deaths of innocents, without ever realising how similar we were.'
'Who would have thought that these two enemies could one day be brought together as a united front of malevolence?'