The Coalition Government took an important step towards realising its target to double the number of those out of work by removing the bureaucratic red tape of having to pay redundancy money to public sector employees.
Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg announced to the House of Commons that "paying someone not to work is a 20th century conceit. While the private sector has, wherever possible, successfully managed to remove such outmoded golden goodbye payments, the public sector yet again has dragged its heels and refused to more with the times".
Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osbourne, took time from sneering and rubbing his legs to tell reporters that he was especially glad that so many women would soon be out of work; "as you will know while over 50% of the public sector are women it will be far easier to get rid of the part timers and women make up well over 80% of them. The taxpayer will make good savings no longer having to prop up these bean counters and paperclip monitors and an additional benefit should be that the average taxpayers home will be 20% cleaner, with a 5% increase in home baking forecast too."
Some left wing economists have dared question the coalition proposals and claim that more people out of work might lead to the state having to pay these job shy dole queue good for nothings some sort of allowances but fortunately Treasury officials have placated such worries by pushing Danny Alexander out of the front door with a sign tied around his neck saying 'market forces'.