A number of MPs were said to be feeling 'conflicted' today as Michael Gove turned up for work wearing a leatherette basque, suspenders, wicked heels and a very severe expression.
An aide, carrying a selection of riding crops and leather restraints, issued a short statement on Gove's behalf. 'Michael is absolutely delighted to be taking on this important role. It has long been his ambition to spread discipline among his colleagues. It is asif his entire career has been leading to this moment.'
Despite initial confusion over the Chief Whip's precise terms of reference, David Cameron is said to be 'warming to the idea', and has already drafted a list of MPs for Gove to 'debrief'.