Gordon Renfrew, an unemployed pipe fitter from Basildon, inadvertently plunged the world of philosophy into turmoil this week by accidentally stepping into the same stream twice during a bicycling tour of North Wales.
That you cannot step twice into the same stream has long been a central plank of both Western and Oriental philosophy, but apparently no-one had ever got round to actually testing the theory.
Max Ponder, a wandering thinker who happened to witness Mr Renfrew's feat, immediately notified the philosophical authorities of the staggering refutation of one of their most fundamental laws.
"I thought I was seeing things at first," he explained. "This bloke's wheeling his bike along a footpath near Betws-y-Coed, when I see him trip slightly and step into this stream. Then blow me if he doesn't go and do it again! It seems so obvious now, I can't think why no-one tried it before. I mean, it's just a stream, right? Why on earth did we ever think you couldn’t step into it twice? It’s an absolute piece of piss once you try."
Inspired by his new-found importance, Renfrew immediately went on to demolish several other basic philosophical tenets. He announced to a packed press conference this morning that he has proved that a tree falling in the forest with no-one to hear it "obviously" makes a sound, Schrödinger's cat is in fact dead ("Hello! It’s in a box with some radiation – like, duh!") and went on to describe the sound of one hand clapping ("Can’t be done, plain and simple").
In a statement this morning, the International Association of Philosophers confessed to being "frankly, a little irritated" at the sudden destruction centuries of deep thinking by a pipe fitter from Basildon. "Don't tell me to be philosophical about it," he added. "You bastards."