After years of strife, violence and corruption, it has been decided that the blame for the situation in Iraq is to be formally divided up.
The new map of blame will be drawn by a special committee made up of members of the various sects within the country, as well as representatives of neighbouring Arab nations, America and the west.
Sunni and Shia Muslims are expected to control roughly equal sized areas of blame, while architects of the 2013 invasion, Tony Blair and George Bush, will enjoy their own expansive province in the north, neighbouring an area still held by the old Baathist regime.
Newcomers ISIS will be hoping for their own permanent tract bordering on Syria, though many believe their plan will be to use this as a 'base of operations' to expand their propensity for creating misery outwards to meet their ultimate goal - an islamic superstate of culpability.
It is thought that a number of walls may be erected between zones, following the success Israel has had fencing off it's own disastrous legacy - though many have accused the Israeli 'peace wall' of being essentially a 'blame grab'.
Dividing lines in the blame map have been in flux ever since the US/UK invasion, before which Saddam Hussain's regime held a monopoly in unmitigated disaster, fiercely holding off the outside world's attempts to worsen the situation. The former Persian state has always been of particular interest to the west due to it's vast blame reserves, with only a few small oases of innocence.
One Iraqi observer told us: 'The trouble is, once you think you've finally apportioned blame correctly, someone else comes in to make a claim.'
He added: 'The outside world wants to impose a western system on us, where calamity is negotiated though a series of meetings. What they don't understand is, in this part of the world, everyone wants the be the one to exclusively screw everything up for everyone.'