A high court judge has ordered Michael Fabricant, the Conservative MP for Lichfield, to 'shave off his ridiculous hair' in a punitive move intended to deter odious, publicity-seeking politicians from airing their appalling opinions in front of television cameras.
After defamatory remarks where Fabricant offered to punch a female journalist "in the throat", while implying he would like to appear on a panel show because no-one has asked him, a furious media backlash ensued where sexism and racism were confused with simple malignancy.
The judge, Sir Mark Ponsonby, stated that he felt that intervention via removal of the MP's 'ludicrous adornment' was wholly justified in this case. He summed up for Mr Fabricant 'The fact that the lady in question is rather strident and irritating does not excuse you from advocating shocking violence, and generally acting like a hate-filled, sexually-frustrated, venomous thug. And you do look such a twat with that hair', he observed mildly.
Accusations that Fabricant had brought politics and in particular, conservatism, into further disrepute were however dismissed by the court.