A corporation of leading Hip-Hop rappers and producers has made a move to buy out garden centre chain, Dobbies.
At a press conference spokesman Fifty-Cent commented "We had all been sitting round in Dr Dre's mansion drinking Krunk Juice with Lil'Jon, when one of the Ying-Yang twins suggested that we go looking for some hoes. Ghostface Killah had his iPhone ready and did a quick google search and found that a place in the UK called Dobbies had a huge selection of different hoes at varying prices. Before you know it we had all counted our pocket cheddar and realised that we had enough to buy the place. We made a bid and sent our negotiator, Redman over to make the deal. Imagine our suprise when we all turned up to view our latest acquisition to find it was full of plants and terracota statues."
"we ain't the type of people to back down and so we've put the word out to the other garden centres that we control this turf now and anyone stepping up will be staring down the barrel of a nine."
"We've also installed Method Man in our main store giving tips on keeping control of weed. How to keep it growing and how best to bag it up."
Regular Dobbies customers Mr and Mrs Ecclestone said "I've never heard of this rap music and certainly don't know who Eminem is but as long as I can still get my azaleas I don't mind. I also like that they have replaced the Yankee Candle section with diamond encrusted watches and large gold knuckle rings. I bought mr Ecclestone a gold grill which says "Gangsta". He says its more hard wearing than his regular dentures".