A TEAM of scientists have sensationally claimed that grey squirrels are not as bad as it may have previously been thought.
The group of animal boffins, from Some University, spent two weeks hanging out with a gang of grey squirrels, going to the cinema, having coffee in Starbucks and playing football.
And writing in the monthly Squirrel Digest, the man who led the research said that the grey squirrel community doesn’t deserve the bad rep it’s received.
Professor Paul Nutkin writes: “A lot of bad things have been written about grey squirrels – that they’re not from these shores and they’ve come in and stolen our native red squirrel’s food and jobs.
“But I’m here to set the record straight: they’re a pretty cool crowd who like a laugh as much as the rest of us.
“Admittedly, their humour is a bit off-colour and a bit racist but apart from that they are a lot of fun and just want to enjoy living here.
“And what you might not realise is they are living in trees and eating food that our native squirrels would look down their noses at – so they are actually helping us.”
The study has turned the previously-held theory that grey squirrels are bad news on its head and one expert has said she’s been “stunned” by the new evidence.
Sophie Bushy, from the Institute for Nothing, said: “For years we have always thought of grey squirrels as unwelcome immigrants to these shores and that we could do nothing about them because of loopy liberal immigration laws.
“However, if this study is true, it would seem they actually have a lot to offer and aren’t that bad afterall.
“Since reading this report, I’ve managed to arrange a week with a grey squirrel family in Nottingham and hope to have the same experience as Prof Nutkin.”
Professor Nutkin added that he hoped his new research would pave the way for more integration between grey and red squirrels.
A spokesman for the Squirrel National Party, however, was not as welcoming of the study.
The Squirrel National Party claims to defend the interest of all British squirrels, although it only accepts memberships from native-born red squirrels.
The spokesman said: “What a load of tosh. We all know the truth about grey squirrels and it’s not good. They disgust me.”
When asked, the spokesman confirmed that “No, I have never met a grey squirrel.”