Following the furore over dog insurance in the quite extraordinary belief that it will lead to a safer society, The Spin Master General, Peter Mandyson, announced this morning that "in a veiled attempt to appeal to the Daily Mail reading, hysterical masses of our beloved middle England, the Cabinet will, forthwith, insure the Prime Minister."
Mandy reassured the chosen media that, "whilst Gordon is normally a placid creature and has never man handled a soul, we have taken out a comprehensive insurance policy as a precaution. Should the PM unexpectedly change his genial characteristic traits and visciously maul a member of the public (or, indeed, a Cabinet colleague) the premium will pay handsome dividends."