The scientific world was celebrating last night after Tony Blair's illuminating discovery that black is white. To date, the finest minds have failed to identify evidence of the presence of dark matter postulated in a dossier in 2003.
Cuthbert Dink, Professor Emeritus for Nuclear Physics stated, 'We assumed it must be there, because we all went to war. So it must have been right, mustn't it?'
Senior government scientific advisors concurred,'We knew Blair was pre-eminent in his subject when he felt confident allowing a student to write the dossier. The theory hinged on small particles that were undetectable, dubbed 'WMD', and on the direction of spin.'
Hans Blick admitted, 'He certainly has me struggling in the crush grip of reason this time. It appears his genius is grounded in a healty disregard for the laws of physics, and indeed international treaties. This work is so beyond question as to defy peer review.'
Blair is tipped to be the only person in history to be awarded both the Nobel Peace Prize and the Prize for Physics, in addition to being canonised by the Catholic Church. A Palace official admitted yesterday, 'The Queen is quite embarrassed to have overlooked Mr Blair in her Birthday Honours list. You should have heard her swearing at the television this morning.'