David Cameron has unveiled a plan to harness the energy of teenagers to keep Britain on track with EU renewable energy targets. The initiative will involve placing treadmills in town centres all over Britain. Any teenagers caught in acts of anti-social behaviour or violating their ASBOs will immediately be dragged to the treadmill by police and forced to generate electricity.
"There is simply so much anti-social behaviour by teenagers these days," said the Prime Minister's spokesman, clutching a copy of the Daily Mail, "That it is anticipated this will bridge the energy gap for the forseeable future as nuclear power stations are decommissioned."
When asked in Parliament how teenagers would be forced to cooperate, the Prime Minister explained that top engineers have been working on a 'caged treadmill' design, in which the occupant would be fed food and water through tubes only if they turned the treadmill fast enough. "They will have to run or starve," said the Prime Minister. "One way or another we must make these teenagers into productive members of society. Frankly we've give up on education as a solution. It only seems to work for the rich."
Civil liberties organisations are mildly concerned about the forced nature of the work. "It may technically be slavery," said a spokesperson for Liberty. "But then, the teenagers who hang around on the corner of my street are very annoying. So we're keeping an open mind."
Teenagers asked about the new initiative either shrugged without answering or told the journalist to fuck the fuck off.