A warm wave of nostalgia and reverie has engulfed industrialised nations around the world, as the inventors of the Sony Walkman, Sony, have inexplicably issued a statement about the 2022 World Cup.
Music lovers of a certain age have been expressing their delight to hear from the premium-priced electronics manufacturer after so many decades.
'Sony completely defined the 1980s for a whole generation' Claimed Mitch Phillips of Popjustice website. 'It wasn't just the Walkman either; they totally owned the cassette market, with their Chrome C90 cassettes. For these two things alone, they deserve to be heard, when they pass comment on endemic corruption within football's world governing body.'
The statement by the Tokyo-based company breaks a lengthy silence from the company. More recent attempts to cash in on their early successes were less well received, including a CD player for joggers and nail-varnish coloured laptop computers. Finally Sony was forced into accepting a hostile takeover from the Hello Kitty corporation.
Fifa President, Joseph "Sepp" Blatter has responded to the statement from Sony warmly, thanking them for their concern. Blatter went on to reminisce at length about recording the ultimate Thompson Twins compilation for his girlfriend, dividing the song Doctor Doctor into two halves due to the time constraints of the luxury metal alloy C60.
The statement from the Sony/Kitty Corp appears to have launched a number of copycat messages on pressing current affairs issues from other heritage consumer electronics manufacturers; TDK are urging ministers Theresa May and Michael Gove to 'stop jockeying for position' and stand shoulder to shoulder against 'creeping Islamic radicalisation in our schools.' Meanwhile, Dixons own-brand Matsui are said to be 'considering their position' over the possible withdrawal of Trident submarines from the Faslane Naval Base.'
