24 hours after the state opening of Parliament, a woman believed to be the Queen has crept back into the building to close it again. The incident happened in the small hours of the morning. The doors to the House of Commons were found wedged shut from the inside, along with super glue on the outside of the doors for any unsuspecting victim this morning.
One witness claims to have overheard a balaclava-wearing woman in her eighties in a saying, “The buggers are doing naff all anyway”. Another witness says they saw the lady breaking in through an office window with Prince Phillip, the Duke of Edinburgh, lurking suspiciously with a ladder nearby. The suspect is believed to have been carrying a small gun. The white gloves the lady was wearing mean no finger prints were left. The Speaker has been left speechless and is now receiving treatment in hospital.
In a defiant act, two pieces of ribbon clued together have also been found on the desk of the Prime Minister today. There are already a spate of small businesses closing down who want a member of the Royal Family to do re-attach two cut pieces of ribbon in a closing down ceremony.
Buckingham Palace has refused to comment on the incident. Opinion polls already show that the public support Her Majesty’s attempt to prevent politicians from causing any more harm. The break-in raises questions about the security of parliament after the suspect is believed to have used laxative in the tea of the security guards.