A spokesman for the catholic church in Ireland has released a statement in which he claims that the organisation has "Done every kind of despicable act we can think of" and are "at a bit of a loss as to what to do next if we're honest"
In the statement the church exclaimed surprise that they "have not been burned out of their churches and chased out of the country by marauding hordes of angry citizens".
"Centuries of fearmongering and indoctrination have been far more effective than we could have ever imagined" the statement continued.
"Having been exposed as brutal, violent, child molesting, mysogyistic, baby-killing psycopaths we're at a point where there's not much left for us to do except to start methodically murdering innocent people on the streets, although that would just be the logical extension of the whole Christian Brothers School/Magedelene home ethos"
"It's almost like we're invisible or something, we could literaly begin walking around the streets and start beheading old ladies, and they'd probobly just ask us to give them the last rites as we saw their heads off and steal their rosary beads..."
When asked what should be done about the attrocities, Irish citizens responded with a range of opinions from "I suppose I think we should say a Mass or something? Sure that'd be grand wouldn't it?" to "Maybe we should give them twenty Hail Marys to say, after all that's what father O Brien gave me when I'd told him I'd had a wank.. even though it was him I was wanking at the time.."