Nigel Coggins, a 45-year-old office worker from Rainham, has told of his turmoil at trying to deal with the fact that he managed to live out his childhood years and survive the 'dirty decade' completely unfiddled with by hands other than his own.
"I was a normal kid just like any other. I walked to school alone from the age 5, I played out for hours on end until it got dark and went on many adventures with my friends. And not once did I encounter a sexual predator. I look back now and wonder how the hell I did it" said the father-of-two in disbelief.
Nigel continued, "It's now got to the point though where I'm starting to question my own memories. Like the time I was 12 and knocked for my friend Pete and was greeted by his mum in her nightie. Her flowing red hair just covering the pale skin of her shoulders and the silhouette of her pert breasts partially visible through the chiffon veil. She asked if I wanted to come in and wait while Pete finished his bath. As I sat nervously in their living room she quite casually asked if I'd started wanking yet. I said no, I always sit like this, before blurting out 'can I feel your tits?'
Nigel continued, "This is constantly played against the memory of knocking at the door of Tracey Best, a popular local woman who had many male friends, but was swiftly told 'fuck off you four-eyed little pervert or I'll call the police again!'
One expert has described Nigel's dilemma as 'extremely rare' saying "A middle-aged man concocting scenarios wherein as a young man he's the subject of a more sexually experienced woman? This is unheard of"
But Nigel's constant battle with his conscience has recently seen him placed in psychiatric care at a top London hospital where he said he's trying hard to forget whatever it is that actually happened 'back then'.
Although he did add that the regular bed baths provided by a bevy of buxom nurses in tight-fitting uniforms are helping him no end towards his recovery.