UK stoners say they would gladly smoke a joint or share a bong with Zane and Louis from One Direction, just so long as it doesn’t end up with them having to listen to any of the new album.
Stoners agree that although constant use of cannabis is linked to psychosis and other mental health issues, there is no medical evidence to suggest it could possibly make them want to hear a 1D album track.
Although smoking cannabis and listening to the X Factor finalists singing live can both lead to an abnormal condition of the mind, the assocoated health issues are purely coincidental and no attempt should be made to correlate the two warned doctors.
‘A child might want to start experimenting with cannabis as a result of listening to a One Direction album’ argued Dr.Rachel Swift from the BMJ ‘but there is little to suggest smoking cannabis would make a child want to start listening to a One Direction album. They are completely different mental health issues and should be treated accordingly’.
Stoners admit to suffering an overwhelming loss of contact with reality when over exposed to Zane’s mind altering vocal offerings.
‘We’ve all seen the video in the back of that car. Zane and Louis making incoherent, childish noises and making complete fools of themselves.
Then the CD finishes and they started smoking cannabis, which only makes things worse.
Stoners on the whole are generally friendly, peaceful and harmless loners who just want to smoke weed, trip out and have a good time.
Just make sure Zane and Louis respect that and everybody should get along just fine’.
Stoner spokesperson Jay Rimmer said they would not be taking the 1D death threats seriously saying music will always bounce back and it would take more than five gurning glove puppets to kill it off completely.
Stoners ‘happy to share spliff with Zane and Louis’ say drug dealers
(2 posts) (2 voices)
UK stoners say they would gladly smoke a joint or share a bong with Zane and Louis from One Direction, just so long as it doesn’t end up with them having to listen to any of the new album.Posted 3 months ago #
Starts off well, but goes off track a bit, IMO. The ending is weak. The second sentence would make a great punchline.Posted 3 months ago #
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