Derek, a 9-year-old boar from Faversham, says the day-to-day drudge of life has been really getting to him lately what with the long, cold winter and the arrival of his fifth litter in as many years. And even though he admitted not knowing what a tunnel was, added that he could see no light at the end of it.
"With a pen the size of pig sty, filled only with straw, some hard plastic balls and a couple of old tyres, fending for a wife and 18 kids takes its toll on you, let me tell you" snorted Derek. "And foraging around snout-deep in shit all day doesn't help either. It's really very depressing indeed" added the father of 82.
However, as news of the pig's plight reached the home of George, a 3-year-old Collie from Redbridge, a wry smile appeared across his face. And as he lay back in his electrically heated, velvet cushioned basket, his owner just disposing of a bag of his freshly laid turd, he thought to himself "A dog's life? My arse" before proceeding to move his head to his groin to lick his own genitals.