The Coalition government are this week tabling emergency legislation, unusually with the full support of the Opposition, to limit public exposure to 'that grin'.
A spokesman for Ed Milliband reflected soberly, 'At a time like this we should put politics aside in the name of public interest. No-one wishes to detract from the undoubted achievement of Mr Farage, but frankly that grin is getting on everyone's nerves. He looks like Kermit the Frog being fellated by a cheshire cat.'
Karen Salter, a colo-rectal nurse from Woking offered, 'I am not easily shocked, but I have to say I find that grin of his quite unsettling.' She went on to advise that repeated exposure to such images can have a cumulative effect. 'You become sensitised. Looking at a radiant Nigel can be as disturbing as when Saville did his marble-eyed thrusty stare, or Rolf Harris did that panting thing while he was painting. At first you can't put your finger on what is wrong, then, quite frankly, you become afraid to.'
Ed, a taxi driver from Norwich put it more simply. 'Look how ridiculously happy he is. It is uncalled for. My wife didn't manage that face on our wedding night and we have been together 23 years. I want my politicians properly miserable, like Nick Clegg.'