Would the world not be a better place without guns? How many diabolical massacres must take place and innocents die before politicians take notice of the will of the majority?
Guns are perfectly safe if used by sane trained professionals like myself and are truly magnificent objects of beauty. In many ways the barrel is like an erect phallus and the trigger a splendid clittythingamugus. Indeed, many hours I have spent caressing the barrels in my mouth and licking the triggers with the tip of one’s tongue. The climax one feels when a weapon is fired and the ecstasy of the recoil as it shudders through your bones is truly a most splendid sensation. I recall being at a gun convention back in Dallas, November of 63, when an anti-gun lunatic confronted me with the same ridiculous poppycock as you. As I proceeded to give him a good scalding the bugger then fired a pistol at me, but as he was obviously an imbecile, he missed even at close range. In a flash I had my rifle aimed at the bugger but missed by a fraction of a mosquito’s penis as he dived into a nearby bush. I immediately alerted the police. The local constabulary put on quite a show. Within minutes there were helicopters and police everywhere. Never found out if they caught the bugger though as I had to leave to Asia the same day, having promised to help an old service acquaintance eradicate a panda infestation on his plantation.