Mark Carney, governor of the Bank of England, today offered to buy a house outside of London in a bid to help ease the UK housing crisis.
After identifying the alleged over heating housing market as the biggest threat to the economy, Mark was stunned to be told that the UK did actually extend beyond the M25.
East Midlands home owner, Mandy Lifeboat (40’ish) said:
“Frankly I was very happy when Mark offered to spend some of his £875,000 salary on buying my house. House prices around here are only just getting within sight of the £200k I paid for it 8 years ago. The thought of being out of negative equity and able to move south to somewhere like Loughborough, or maybe replace my car, was keeping me going. I’m not asking for miracles, I know the £20-30 grand I’ve spent on home improvements since 2006 has all been p*ssed up against the wall and that a 5% rise in house prices up here is still a case of ‘5% of sod all is still sod all’. But, warning of interest rate rises kind of pulled the rug from under my feet so it’s nice he wants to help a bit”.
“This has been an eye opener to me” said Mr Carney. “I had wandered where all the trains went after they left Luton. The houses are really quaint, pre-war, with some real original features like ill-fitting windows and single brick walls that cost a fortune to heat. They should turn this stuff into some kind of theme park or something”.