Nigel Farage stirred the immigration topic today, when he complained that he'd got a train across Glasgow -and hadn't understood a single word.
"Since joining the EU", Mr Farage said, "our doors have been open to the rest of Europe. Now one of our cities, Glasgow, is so full of immigrants that nobody is speaking english. Sitting in the train, I couldn't understand anything being said. This is why we need to leave the EU".
In response, a spokesman for Glasgow Council said, "Yon Farage is aye bampot and an disnae ken whit the fuck he saying -he's speaking oot his erse again. If that numpty-heided shitbag comes up tae Glesca again, we weegies are gonnae give him a beatin'"
(a native glasgwegian should review this & add more insults in)