A Sudanese court has sentenced a man to have the shit kicked out of him for apostasy after he decided he didn’t want to support Manchester United any more. The local law rules that apostasy - the abandonment of one's religion - is a crime.
Yousefa Ibrahim Magahni is said to have been devoted to the Red Devils, having vowed in 1994 to love, honour, cherish and obey the Club. For better for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. Forsaking all others. As long as they both shall live, or 'United ‘til I die' as he so frequently put it.
But after such a shit season and taking so much grief from his workmates, Magahni stopped worshipping at holy Old Trafford and renounced his allegiance to the faith. ‘We gave you three days after the last game of the season to recant but you insist on not returning to Man Utd,’ the judge told Maghani. ‘I therefore sentence you to be taught a lesson by those who have remained loyal, you fucking glory-hunter.’