In a remarkable turn of events, Joseph Kipling (aka Rudyard) has been forced to apologise for the use of the “n” word in his short story “How the Leopard Got His Spots”. Kipling, who previously had been thought to have died in 1936, stated that he had been pressurised to act as he didn’t want to be categorised as “as bad as Jeremy Clarkson”. Until now, it was hoped by Kipling, the so-called Prophet of British Imperialism, that the passage of time would have blurred the memory and that he would have got away with his misdemeanour. However, people now googling the word to find out what it means have stirred up this old chestnut (I hope that word is OK to use). Kipling went on to say that it was just his luck that the story was recently re-published in a children’s book called “Just So Stories” and that he would have preferred, in retrospect that people continue to read the censored version published on many sites in which the offending word had been eradicated.
Kipling’s defence of his use of the word was that he had tried to muffle it but the word recognition on his quill had over-ridden his attempts without him noticing it. When it came to light 100 years later, the first thing he did was to approach the Ethiopian in question who said “Quite Frankly, I don’t give a shit as I’m dead”. A further defence offered by Kipling was that he thought the offensive part of the rhyme Clarkson the reference to the toes. “In my case”, he said, “I was referring to his fingers”