A nice man has told his local radio station of his utter contempt for MP Austin Mitchell, after the politician likened an aggressive take-over to a sexual assault.
"I understand he wasn't deliberately trying to offend, but these clumsy comparisons are incredibly stupid and insensitive," said Nice man. "He's like a concentration camp guard. No! Make that Hitler. And the whole process of cod comparisons is like the holocaust all over again. Or Stalin's Gulags."
Nice Man said he was 'zero tolerant' of people who use other people's mistakes for a display of sanctimonious grandstanding, moral exhibitionism and empty gestures that can never be tested. "But I'll fight to my last dying breath for their right to do so."
Mr Nice Man said that "if just one of the female community thinks I'm nice, then it will all have been worth it."