New advice from NASTY is now suggesting that healthy mothers having a second child should give birth in supermarket car parks. Special soundproofed portakabins with a midwife in attendance, are to be located next to the internet collection points.
Midwives are to be provided at the ratio of one midwife for each twelve patients.
The government hopes to encourage supermarkets to stock a wide variety of surgical goods, so that in the event of complications, midwives can nip into the Pharmacy department to buy the equipment needed. A special boiling water dispenser will be available near to the steam cleaning part of supermarkets with car wash facilities.
For patients and families the real advantage will be the free parking offered by the stores as compared with hospital parking charges.
This will also create employment for illegal immigrants offering a £5 car wash, for an extra payment at the hourly minimum basic wage, they will assist midwives and run errands collecting shopping during the birth.