Britain's football hacks have been criticised for their unimaginative and old fashioned preparation for the world cup, after they elected for the traditional formation of hype, hysteria hubris and hypocrisy.
Many critics say England coverage should be updated and that the press team need to play a more sophisticated game. in time honoured fashion, England's football pundits will start the tournament shouting that 'this will be our year'. As excitement begins to build, the Daily Telegraph will mention 1966 and Geoff Hurst will be busy. In the next stage of the cycle, a hard fought one nil win over Andora will be celebrated by the press as if England had already won the world cup, the olympics and reclaimed its entire empire. The fact that an England player bought the winning penalty will be taken as proof that England's players have acquired a level of wisdom and experience to match that of the press office. For five days, Fleet Streets finest will be in the hysteria stage of the life cycle of a cup tournament.
This will end abruptly, when England play their next game, against Belgium or Denmark or Hungary. At this point, columnists immediately turn on the twenty somethings they'e been over praising and suddenly set about demolishing them in print and online. At this stage, the hacks will make a crude tactical switch and suddenly decide they hate England and everyone that lives in this wretched foggy island. Every England player's phone will be hacked, their families will be followed and their bin bags examined.
One both wings there will be devastating raids on the national mood, with both The Daily Telegraph and The Guardian laying into The Dirty Man Of Europe. Matthew Norman and Paul Hayward will write long, knowing pieces about how they knew all along that Roy Hodgson's tactics were all wrong - if only he'd listened to them. But England's press team will no be able to maintain this hubris very long, and soon they will resort to playing the long bore game, as endless examples of hypocrisy are used to fill empty editorial spaces.
"England's press team have been playing the same game since 1970," said Jacopo Scutti of La Gazetta Dello Sport, "none of them speaks more than one language, they all stick together and move as one and they're still playing the traditional reverse ferret game. They're a laughing stock on the continent."