Russia is preparing to annex the Eurovision Song Contest if the country fails to win this evening.
Russian choirs are reported massing around Copenhagen, with reported manoeuvres to outsing Ukraine contestants and 'their Western counter tenor backers'.
Kiev is believed to be ready to deliver a song that will silence Russian efforts.
Meanwhile the EU is threatening to ban Russian pop music groups from the Western media.
'If', said a EU spokesman,' we can find any.'