In an attempt to head off a growing revolt against them as the pseudo-debate over halal meat rumbles on, Pizza Express are to offer customers a choice over how their meat is produced.
The chain is to offer an at-table slaughter service, with the animal in question brought out and the customer will choose the method by which it is killed. "We will provide slaughter menus with the various methods of killing explained" the company said in a statement. "Throat slitting, electrocuted, bolt gun to the head - pre-stunned or conscious - we aim to offer as wide a range as possible." The slaughter will then be conducted table-side before the carcass is hauled off to be processed into the required topping.
"This is all about transparency", the statement concluded, "and while we expect the time it takes for one of our tasty topped bread discs to arrive at the table to increase markedly, this is clearly what our customers and The Sun expect of us. But put it this way, we're stocking up on tomatoes and mozzarella."