An increasing number of Britons are set to shun more traditional bank holiday pursuits this Monday in favour of contemplating the sheer pointlessness of their being, a study has revealed. Research carried out by the Institute of National Well-being has found that many British adults will forsake customary May Day activities such as a trip to the coast or spending time in the garden in favour of sitting at home staring into space and coming to terms with the fact that their lives are ultimately meaningless.
'For some reason the May Day bank holiday leaves many people feeling bereft and empty' says Dr Jessica Harrington who headed up the research team 'possibly because it falls so soon after Easter but unlike Easter there is no spiritual or religious element'.
One lady, 53-year old Julia Winters of Canterbury, told researchers of her experience last May Day bank holiday 'my husband got up early to play a round of golf with some friends and he seemed fine when he left the house but when I opened the curtains an hour later he was sitting on the driveway clutching his golf bag and sobbing like a baby, he just kept saying 'what's the point? what's the bloody point?' over and over again'.
According to the study this type of incident is surprisingly common, as Dr Harrington explained. 'many people told us that this year they would avoid the garden centre and the traffic jams in order to sit at home in their pyjamas contemplating the prospect of unavoidable annihilation and wrestling with the fact that their dreary little lives are ultimately futile, although many also said that if 'Live and Let Die' came on they would probably watch it to cheer themselves up'.