In a dramatic development for UK science, Mr Willetts has announced that the government is currently in talks with the American pharmaceutical giant Pfizer over their interest in the Nation’s sodium stocks. ‘’This is entirely consistent with government’s strategy for growth and prosperity in the UK’’ said Mr Willetts, defending the policy of allowing foreign companies to strip all valuable assets in the land, literally. Having sold supplies of H2O to the French and the methane to the American Fracking industry the government is keen to dispose of the entire periodic table. ‘’If we don’t have any salt then it will be unprofitable to pour the stuff over our food and this will help reduce the associated risks of high blood pressure. The savings to the NHS will be tremendous’’ said Mr Willetts yesterday, ‘’Who the hell needs all this stuff cluttering up the place? We are told to reduce our carbon footprint, why stop there? We can realise shareholder value from antimony all the way through to zinc’’.
UK in talks with Pfizer over the nation’s chemical reserves.
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